


Why do you even bother with the family life?

by TheSYDNEYSAURUSREX



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Lolicon, M/M, Multi, Parent/Child Incest, Shota, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-05 00:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSYDNEYSAURUSREX/pseuds/TheSYDNEYSAURUSREX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various tales of how the kids are fucked in the family department.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rose and Her Mother

A hacking cough rings throughout your home; impressive, considering the size of your abode.

You look up from your stories, noticing hours have passed since you last saw her. You stand up shakily, hands patting out any flaw in dress and tucking hair behind headbands as you make your way to her. Lightning flashes, reminding you of the permanent storm that seems to emanate from this place, as you open the door to her room.

There she is, in all her destructive beauty. Week old make-up, smeared across her eyes and lips. Her hair is a blonde grey mess, and in dire need of a brush and a dye job. You desperately want to suggest it, but keep your lips shut, warily eyeing the woman you allow to call yourself to call mother. But that never seemed to fit her. You wish she would tell you her real name so you didn’t sound so ridiculous when you whimper out, “Mom.”

She looks up, body done quaking with the force of her coughs. A sluggish smile creeps up her face, embellishing the grin marks already lining her face. She crooks a finger at you, and like a magnet, you pull yourself to her.

“my lil roshey posheysh lookin purty asha piscture”she fucking giggles at you.

Like this is a joke.

Like her problems don’t exist.

And this infuriates you. Your face transforms into that old hateful mask.

“Well I guess I didn’t inherit your genes, right mother?”

She laughs at that too. Her face contorts a bit, your words just settling with her. Grimacing, she continues.

“curs nat, elshe none o dem boys’d be up’n yer honey, fluttin about tryn’ to make more o dem bees”

She smirks.

You sneer.

“Like you would turn down anyone who so much as glanced at you kindly, really mother, I thought a grown woman could differentiate infatuation and friendship. I seem to detect much too much jealousy in your words. Are you afraid I’ll fly the proverbial coop?”

You’re getting off topic again. This always seems to happen with this batshit broad. You want to talk about her health, the last time she ate, bathed, or got out of bed. Before you could even form any of your real questions, she talks again.

“well I dun’t wantcher to be like me, yer sho mush better rosey. Yuv always been aperf lil babe”

She’s crying again. The way she does when she doesn’t think you’re listening. Or is it because she knows you are. Mascara gets pushed aside by tears and she smiles at you. Like she means what she says. Like she even knows what she’s saying.

This pisses you off as well.

You stomp forward and grip her shirt.

“As if you could even notice through your alcohol induced fuzz. How dare you even pretend to care about my life, my choices? I have had enough of your passive aggressive plays, this coy pull on my whims. Stop these pitiful actions, bitter shrew, I’m begging you. Let us be normal for once.”

When did you start crying? How long have you been tearing holes in her night gown? She stares at you, recognition flashing in her eyes. She grips you lightly petting your hair and fussing silently over your skirt. You don’t even remember straddling her.

The tears well in both of your eyes and suddenly she’s babbling. Most of it unintelligible, you can only barely make out.

“this is normal fer ush rose.”

Amidst the whines and gasps for forgiveness.

So solemn. Your mother is never solemn. She laughed at your cat’s funeral for god’s sake. She glances at your hands as you loosen your grip and move your tiny hands to her shoulders.

“Well it appears we have vastly different definitions of this word…”

You look up at her.

Her icy pink eyes.

Her permanently flushed cheeks.

Full womanly lips you hope to inherit.

A beautiful disaster.

The slight crack in her voice, as she gasps lightly does it for you.

You kiss your mother.

She doesn’t pull back.


	2. Dave and His Bro

You honestly hate being sick. Its raining for once in this god awful city of heat and sun and the weather matches how you feel: drippy and grey and kind of freezing. You feel cold all over and all the blankets in your apartment won’t fix that. With numb fingers you search through cabinets for some kind of food you can heat and just sit and sip at. You miss when you were little and having Bro fix you up some chicken and stars. Now you can’t even find some nasty ass ramen. With a sigh you leave the kitchen.

Of course you manage to get sick on your three day weekend. Not even at the end so you could miss another day of school, but right in the middle so it would be wasted on you trying to make yourself feel better. God you hate your body sometimes.

You’re sluggishly making your way over to the futon to watch some tv when all of a sudden the power goes out. Fan fucking tastic now you cant even rely on day time tv to relieve the constant throbbing in your brain. You don’t think you can make it to your room though so you collapse on the couch and watch the grey of the room fade slowly to black as you pass out. You dream of a tall white figure staring at you soulessly. The black shapes around his eyes blocking any hint of emotion you could ever hope to see.

Where’s your bro? Why isn’t he fixing you up with a blanket and some coco? Isn’t that how parental figures usually work? Make sure you’re ok and comfort you when you need them. And god do you need him right now. He doesn’t even work this early in the fucking day so why isn’t he helping you? You wouldn’t even mind his other type of attention on you. The one that confuses you and makes you hurt sometimes.

You wake up with eyes feeling very wet. And all you have to blame are stupid worthless emotions. You feel warmer though for some odd reason. You shift and feel a heating pad under you. Your gaze starts to search around the room noting all the candles set up around you. There’s some cold tomato soup on the coffee table in front of you. Bro is sitting on the floor which is kind of freaking you out because he’s still only barely eye level with you. That man is a giant. He notices you’ve woken up and with barely a noise shifts onto his feet and walks your soup to the microwave which he actually seemed to have cleaned out for it. You can feel that your fever has already broke and now your just drenched in sweat and dizzy as hell. He walks back over to you while the soup’s heating. Just standing over you. He doesnt offer an explanation for his disappearance. Nor does he telll you how long you’ve been out but you guess at least six hours judging by the lack of any sun outside. Just before you can ask any of this from him the microwave beeps and he’s gone again. You almost cry from the frustration of his antics.

But he comes back and kneels next to you. He props your head up with one hand and holds hot soup with the other. He tells you to open and you try to ask what as he slips the spoon in your mouth. You don’t like tomato but you don’t tell him and he literally spoonfeeds you the whole bowl. You can’t really taste it so you don’t really mind. When he’s finished you start to get scared he’ll leave again. But he doesn’t. He sets the bowl on the table and leans over you just looking. Your fac feels hot and you fidget a bit waiting for him to just oh he’s kissing you that’s nice. You let your eyes close and your foggy mind just appreciates this slight warmth against your lips. He barely ever kisses you even if he does all else to you. And you just feel so much passion in it that you think you might know why. He breaks it after a few minutes and you pant slightly. He pats your head and gets up, you guess he’s probably heading out to his real job now. As he picks up Cal’s box you hazard a thank you. He stops his gatherings and just stands there for a minute.

“Love you too Dave.”

And then he’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goin after the d


	3. John and Dad celebrate a very special day

Well here it is again. Your birthday. To any normal little boy this would seem wonderful, sweet gits sweet words and fucking sweets. But you only get gifts from your dad. And your really beginning to hate sweet things. Well, cake at least. Your turning ten and to be honest you don't really have any friends. Besides your dad. Who is always so proud of you.  
It fell on a thursday this year. To other, normal, little boys this would suck. Your homeschooled so it doesn't really matter either way. It just means your dad won't teach anything til tomorrow. Which will more than likely be some misguided attempt at bonding with you. Even more. I mean, you guys are pretty much inseperable already so it just comes off as.... Well overbearing. But you love your dad, you do. Honestly.....  
Your thinking about dear old dad. You do that a lot. He's basically the epitome of manliness to you and you aspire to get as close to him as possible. Um, lifestyle-wise. Hehehe....  
You've been in your room long enough to make it seem like you slept in. In actuality your biological clock is so well winded by your father that no matter what happens your in bed by 9:30 and up by 7. You wrap your robe around your pj's(cuffed ghost sleeping pants and a plain white tee) and head down the stairs slowly. The smell of bacon and toasting bread wafts from the kitchen and you start to smile until the sweet scent of frosting hits your nostrils. Oh please not again.  
You have had pre birthday cake after dinner all week. Each had been a different flavor and beautifully crafted but you honestly think you'll vomit from just the smell. You step into the kitchen wishing you had something to strife with. Hey maybe dad bought you one of those strife specibi for your big day! Wouldn't that be flippin sweet. A bit out of sorts you sit at the table, glancing out at the window at the light falling rain.   
"Well how does the big man on campus feel today? Finally reached the double digits haven't you eh sport? Ah son I am just so-" he has your breakfast on two plates. Bacon, eggs, jam on toast and a short stack of pancakes. You're eating those babies plain.  
"Proud of me?" you interrupt, a small smile sneaking up your face. And showing off your ridiculous chompers. You opt for a close mouthed smile. Dad's pearly whites were as perfect as the rest of him. Well now wasn't that a cheesy thing to say ?  
He smiles, not noticing any internal struggles you might be having and ruffles your hair a bit. You nuzzle into it a bit, emiting a low, content, hum.  
"Now, eat up sport! If you ever wanna get strong like me, you have to eat everything I serve you,"a fatherly wink and a turn and he's back to his busy work. If only you could get strong like him. You can barely carry a gallon of milk in from the car, let alone do half the stuff he does. Your dad is great and you wanna be just like him.  
If only you weren't such a kid. You had bad asthma, bad teeth, hair that couldn't be tamed, a body that you knew was a bit husky for someone your age, eyes that could barely see, and horrible social skills. Your squeeky voice would probably annoy anyone you could try to befriend, so you make sure to stay quiet, keep your mouth shut so they can't see those beaver teeth, don't run so you won't make that awful wheezing sound, stay still so you can see, so others can ignore your ugly self.  
But daddy....dad sees past all that. He thinks your the perfect one and is even proud of you! How he could be, you'll never know, but your so grateful that you just wanna-  
"John, do you feel alright? You're all flushed and you've barely touched your food!" you look down and see he's right. You just kinda moved the fork around the plate and messed .  
"Shurry jusht eshited fur gifsh!" and eat with as much relish as you can muster. He seems sated and smiles.  
"Well I better go set them up eh?" he turns to make the array more appealing to the eye. You have this sudden urge though, and you need him.  
"Dad!" is out of your mouth before you can think and you flush a bit at your abruptness. He also shares a similar look of surprise before softening into one of his fatherly smirks.  
"John, your presents aren't going to just arrange themselves."  
"Can I ask you for one personal gift?"  
Dad looks a bit confused but shrugs and nods, smile still present. It may not be ever again. You take a breath and prepare for your fate, squeazing your eyes shut.  
"Can I kiss you?"  
With eyes shut tight you feel reluctant lips on yours. You release your breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah i kinda like john to be the dominant force in that relationship  
> so sue me


	4. Jade and Grandpa Sittin In a Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jade really likes her grandpa  
> she just loves him sooooooooo much

He's just so strong.  
You don't know exactly how old grandpa is, but you'd have to say somewhere around a bazillion. He has so many wrinkles and spots he might as well be a pug! Well, pugs don't have big ole' bushy mustaches, but he could make a cute scotty dog you think?  
You know a lot about dogs for a five year old. It's because grandpa bought you a big book of breeds from the monthly catalog. You can't read all that well, but this one's helping out a bunch!  
You also like to read about dogs because of Bec! Who's kind of like your overprotective mama. But he's a boy. He's got boy bits like grandpa. Grandpa tells you that at least so your trust him. Maybe it's the tail? You wonder where grandpa is hiding his? You wish you had a tail. Or at least ears.  
You love them both a lot. Bec, because he's your sweet, loving, dog. Grandpa because..... well he's grandpa! He has this huge stupid collection that you actually really like. He makes you watch silly silent movies that he hums a tune for so it'll be more entertaining for you. He makes sure you get a nice cool bath every day after running around in the hot island sun. He's just the best there ever was!  
When he kisses your cheek, you feel the bristles brush against your skin and shiver and giggle and adore it. Grandpa says it's good to build up a tolerance for it when your young, so you won't mind beard rash when your older. You don't know why you'd ever mind it, you love grandpa's kisses! Sometimes, he kisses you like those quiet movies. He gets all stiff and holds you close and you can smell his aftershave and his natural smell. You love his smell.  
He gets sad sometimes too. He'll just sit on a cliff and watch the sun go down. You wonder if he misses going on adventures? You'll have to ask him some day. Maybe when you get older, he'll take you on a real one! You want to be with him forever after all, follow his footsteps and add to his dumb old collection.   
You like sleeping with grandpa most. He'll hold you close as he rocks you to sleep and breathe in your shampoo. He mumbles stuff about how you're so much like her. You'll have to ask about that one day too...  
He's big. Like you csn tell he used to be really muscular and bulky. He hasn't lost the strength at all, he just prefers to use his rifle. "A girl can't leave the house without it!" he says. What a goofy man hehe.  
Some day you want to get married to grandpa. Because that's what you do when you love someone right? You hold them close and never let them go. And that's what you intend to do for your grandpa.   
Even after he's dead and stuffed(as tradition dictates) you'll keep him with you. Until you grow old and die and have to be stuffed. You'll ask in your dead person letter thing(you don't know what that's called) to be placed next to grandpa, and sealed in an air tight vault. So you can be together forever.  
Cause that's what you do when you love someone a lot, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a tad creepy  
> i didn't mean to i am apology

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what it is girl tell me what it is  
> Tell me what you think! if anyone likes it i will continue 
> 
> and the entire series would be this
> 
> aka dave/bro
> 
> john/dad
> 
> jade/grandpa(because well doge is prolly not a good kisser)
> 
> alternatively
> 
> jane/dad
> 
> roxy/mama rose
> 
> dirk/dave bro
> 
> jake/ granma harley
> 
> or anyone really if it was requested


End file.
